I am starting this blog for every woman out there who is struggling with infertility. I am struggling with it myself and need some sort of outlet. I guess I should begin by telling my story.
My husband and I met 5 years ago this New Year's at the beach. He was working down there and I went down for the holiday with a few friends. One of my friends had known my husband for years and knew he was down there working. He decided to go visit him on New Year's Day. We met that day and were inseparable from then on. He moved back home in March and we were married the following year in July.
We were not planning on having children right away. We wanted to wait a few years and have some time for ourselves. Well, we "accidentally" conceived and at the time I was devastated. All the thoughts that went through my head..... We weren't planning this..... We aren't ready for this..... We can't afford this.....
It was Mother's Day when we found out. Eight weeks later I miscarried. Needless to say, we were both pretty devasted. Even though we weren't exactly planning this pregnancy, we immediately went into prep mode.....what would we name the baby, would it be a boy or a girl, how should we decorate the nursery.......then BAM!!!, just like that, all our hopes and dreams came crashing down. I will never forget my due date.....it was January 14th....exactly one week after my birthday. Oddly enough, I'll never forget what my doctor said to me when he told me that I was going to miscarry......he looked right in my teary, red eyes and said, "Well, at least you know that you can get pregnant now." I never knew how often I would think about those words he said to me. That was 3 1/2 years ago and I've never been able to conceive since.
To be continued.....
Oh, Jamie!
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to hear of this! And I hope you didn't think my post today was taking my kids for granted. I know we are unbelievably blessed to have those wild kiddos. I will put y'all at the very top of my prayer list!
I can't imagine how hard infertility is. And I know words coming from a Mom of five, probably aren't so comforting, even if they are meant to be. But, never give up! I know you've probably heard a million stories of women who struggled, to go on and have children later with no problems, and if you're sick of hearing those stories, I understand. But, real quick, one of my best friends now, has a little girl Lucy's age, and we've gotten to know each other through their dance and school schedules. Anyway, Maureen once told me that they tried for seven years, in-vitro, clomid, etc, and nothing was working. She and her husband nearly divorced, and the weekend before she was to try in-vitro one last time, her husband came to her and said, "Let's use the money we've saved for a cruise for us. I think we could use that more than anything right now, just to get away. I just can't watch you go through this pain anymore. Not right now." So, she agreed, they left three weeks later and went on a 10 day cruise. The next month, she went in to have her hormone levels checked to start another round of shots to see if they might help. The nurse called her the next day and said, "Umm, we can't do shots this time. Because you're pregnant!" Seven years later, Maureen now has three children, the other two boys, who they didn't plan for.
I will pray that you learn VERY SOON that you are pregnant too, and be surprised just as Maureen was! And that you go on to have a whole bunch of babies!! You would be a great Momma.
I love you, Jamie! I'm so sorry you've had to go through this. I will be following closely, and praying constantly.
Love you.